remove minor children is often done out of convenience or time constraints. Parents do their children but it no favors. For to take things themselves, strengthen the confidence of the little ones in their own abilities.
"Come, I'll make you even more quickly to the jacket," the mother said gently in the hallway to Nele - without that the five-year-old had made only one attempt to close the zipper itself. An everyday scene - in the gray area between loving care and pampering. But where does the one in my, where does the other? And it's not really indulge in just about the unconditional fulfillment of wishes? Not so, say education experts, and strongly recommend to let children make their own experiences.
it comes to pampering, urges initially on a thought: children are showered with gifts at Christmas or Birthday or indeed just in between. Ipod, brand jeans and trendy bag - what others have in the classroom, to the youth must get it. Every wish is fulfilled, sometimes even before it is put forward.
But the material is only one aspect. "From pampering, one can speak, if parents keep their children too much and trust nothing," said Frauke recruited by the district association Stormarn (Schleswig-Holstein) of the German Child Protection Agency. The psychotherapist and educational consultant Juergen Detering Bremervörde further defined: "Children are spoiled when they life lessons that could solve them actually do not have to deal with." If mom and dad so they organize life so that they themselves have little to contribute to the success of everyday life.
exactly what happens often in the opinion of education experts. "Today, children are removed too much," says Trudi Kuhn in Dusseldorf, co-editor and trainer of the STEP-parent program. From their courses they know that almost all parents want an independent, responsible and confident children. "Mothers and fathers should be asked in their daily lives so always I reach these goals with my education?" So it was just not conducive to the child always running to carry the forgotten sports bag.
Everyday life is full of situations Parents tempted things "settle times fast." Just moments under time pressure - for example in the morning - are a common trap: the sweater coat, lubricate the bread, lace up the shoes. "We need the children have more time to do things yourself and if so, to make a slower pace," advises Detering. be
addition to time pressure but can also ease a guilty conscience or the need used to be reasons for excessive pampering of children. And the parental inability to work through conflicts, plays a role often. By mother or father unnerving confrontations go out of the way they spoiled in some ways even said Detering.
The possible consequences for the children think the education of professionals for concern. "Pampering is anti-development because they do not train children to learn for everyday life and important things," says the therapist Detering. This will be an opportunity missed that children acquire self-confidence and perseverance. "Remember how proud are young children, when they do something themselves. This is to raise pride and promoted," he says. Is the only way a child gets a taste of his own powers and abilities. For parents, this means
but that they let go and their Children have the opportunity to learn from consequences.
Trudi Kuhn repeatedly observed a typical reaction of parents, such as when the child has knocked over a glass: "You complain wipe the juice but thyself." Better is it to ask the young, to get a rag and remove the evil. "As children learn at the same time that they can correct a mistake again." So that children saw themselves as effective - and that in turn foster self-confidence.
Not enough can be spoiled child but with time and emotional attention, Frauke says Worby. The social worker knows from conversations, that discussions on the theme of "pampering" many parents feel insecure. Worby encourages parents, therefore, from the menacing thought "... otherwise my child dependent" to solve a little. "Parents should take the measure, what is important in education and make decisions on this basis," she says. This will give them strength to impose rules, and the children security and continuity. And in turn, are a good basis to act independently and confidently.
Source Health Portal Pharmacies
